Harnessing The Power Of The Five Love Languages: A Guide To Getting To Know Someone Better

The article is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.

Love is a universal human emotion, but not everyone expresses and receives it in the same ways. Understanding how you accept and show love can be important, as it can help you relate to others, care for them, and teach them how to help you feel valued. One tool that can come in handy if you want to deepen your relationship with your significant other is exploring what one another’s love languages are. 

There are five different love languages, each of which describes how people may experience love. Learning more about the five love languages can be beneficial whether you’re dating, in a new relationship, or have been with your significant other for years. In this article, we’ll go over each love language and explain how you can show your affection using each one.   

What Are The Five Love Languages?

The five love languages are a concept developed by Dr. Gary Chapman in the 1950s. In his book titled “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts,” Chapman details how everyone shows their love in unique ways and receives it differently as well. The five love languages he spells out in his book are: 

  • Words Of Affirmation: Words of affirmation are expressions that let someone know what you appreciate or like about them. You might tell someone that they’re a great friend, compliment them on their passion for helping others, or praise them for accomplishing one of their goals. Words of affirmation can be expressed through letters, text messages, word of mouth, small notes, and more. Reminding someone of how special they are by pointing out their unique traits can deepen your relationship and help you understand what’s important to the other person, as certain compliments and words are likely to mean more than others. 
  • Gift-Giving: People whose love language is gift-giving enjoy receiving gifts from others and feel loved when someone gets them something. While people often enjoy the gifts themselves, this love language typically has more to do with the sentiments behind the behind rather than its monetary or material value. Those who receive love through gifts tend to savor the fact that someone thought of them when they saw something and had to buy it for that reason. 
  • Physical Touch: Sometimes, physical affection may say more than words can. The physical touch love language refers to any type of touching (sexual or non-sexual) that makes someone feel cherished, special, and cared for. It could include hugging, giving a pat on the back, kissing, having sex, holding hands, cuddling, or simply sitting close together on the couch. 
  • Quality Time: When someone’s love language is quality time, it means that they crave uninterrupted time to talk and enjoy other people’s company. Simply being in the same room isn’t usually enough, particularly if the other person is glued to their phone or distracted by something or someone else. To people with this love language, someone’s undivided attention is one of the best things they can receive in life. 
  • Acts Of Service: Acts of service refer to any type of action that helps another person by taking a burden from them.If you’re trying to love someone in this way, it could involve cooking dinner for them, taking on their chores for the week, or giving them a massage after a long day of work. Helping someone out can speak volumes, and for people with this love language, behaviors say more than words can. 

Getting to know someone on a deeper level takes time, consistency, and intentionality. By understanding someone’s love language, you can learn what makes them light up inside and be a better friend or partner to them.  

Other Ways To Get To Know Someone

There are other ways to get to know someone beyond the five languages, and one of the most effective methods is asking different types of questions. If you’re interested in exploring a list of questions to ask as you’re trying to get to know someone better, try visiting the following link: www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/ask-these-20-questions-to-get-to-know-people/.


It can be a lengthy process to get to know someone better, and the five love languages are just one tool that can assist you. Remember that love languages go both ways—how you receive love and how you show it can look completely different. Thus, it’s crucial to consider this fact when trying to learn more about another person (or even yourself). How someone shows you love may not be how they need to receive it, and vice versa. The five love languages aren’t meant to describe every aspect of a person or put them in a box; rather, they’re there to give helpful insight into who they are and be taken in context with other important details about them.