A Guide To Rediscovering Yourself After The End Of A Romantic Relationship

The article is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.

After a relationship ends, it can be difficult to find a new normal in your daily routine. More often than not, significant others play a major role in our lives and are intertwined with our interests, friend groups, and hobbies— particularly for those who are married. 

Given that we spend so much time with our partners, it can be easy to lose ourselves in the relationship and forget who we are as an individual. Thus, the end of a relationship often marks the beginning of a journey to self-discovery. Below is a quick guide that may come in handy as you embark on your unique path to re-discovering who you are and what makes you happy.  

How To Rediscover Yourself After A Breakup

After going through a breakup, your biggest concern may be just making it through the day. However, know that working on your personal growth can speed up your healing process, provided you’re letting yourself adequately grieve as well. Below are some helpful tips that may serve you well as you seek to heal and learn more about yourself after a breakup. 

  • Take Care Of Yourself

Taking care of yourself doesn’t just mean mentally and physically, but it also includes leaning back into your passions and finding ways to be happy. Essential self-care strategies involve getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and exercising, as well as spending time with friends and engaging in hobbies. Self-care can be almost anything, as long as it’s healthy and productive and doesn’t leave you feeling worse afterward. 

  • Let Yourself Feel Your Emotions

Your feelings may be so painful that you try to suppress or avoid them completely, but remember that this may only delay your healing. Part of discovering yourself is being aware of your emotions and accepting them without judgment. When you get to the root of your pain, you can uncover important information about yourself that can serve you well in other areas of life as well as in future relationships. 

  • Try Journaling

Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal or on a note on your phone can help enhance your self-awareness. Not only does it allow you to reflect on how you’re doing emotionally and mentally, but it lets you look back and see how far you’ve come. Sometimes, you may not even know how you’re feeling until you write down the thoughts inside your head. Journaling can also help you discover what matters to you and why those things are important. 

  • Lean Into Your Passions

We all have different interests and passions in life; it’s what makes each person unique. After parting ways with your ex, it’s essential that you lean back into doing what brings you joy. You may have neglected these passions when you were with your ex or felt you didn’t have time for them. Whether it’s painting, playing an instrument, or traveling that you love, throw yourself back into those activities and remember why they brought you so much fulfillment in the first place. 

  • Talk To A Therapist

It’s not easy to move on after a breakup, especially without a solid support system and the right coping skills. If you’re struggling to get over an ex, it could be helpful to connect with a relationship therapist through an online therapy platform like BetterHelp or within your local area (if you prefer to meet in person). A therapist can guide you through your emotions and give you ways to gain more insight into your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. They can also help you re-discover and embrace your values so that you can live in alignment with them. 

  • Spend Time With Loved Ones

A breakup can leave you feeling lonely, but making a point to spend time with people who love and care for you can remind you that you’re not alone. It can be easy to hole up in your bedroom and isolate yourself from everyone, but doing so can hold you back from living life to its fullest. Even if you don’t feel like it, try carving out time every week to phone a friend, meet a family member for dinner, or try a new coffee shop with your mentor. Your loved ones can help remind you of who you are even when you’ve forgotten. 

Self-Discovery Is A Lifelong Process

As you heal from your breakup and commit to learning more about yourself, it’s vital to remember that self-discovery is a lifelong journey that never truly ends. As you grow older, you’ll naturally develop new interests, passions, and skills, making it important to stay curious about yourself for as long as you live. The more aware you are of your abilities and limitations, the clearer your sense of purpose and direction can be. So, while you may feel lost now, don’t lose hope; this is just a season of life, not the end of it.